So your boss is a jerk. What to do? Of course, how to approach it depends on the severity of the situation, but here are some tips:
1. Go Lean.
You may have to make a change, so you need money in the bank. That’s not tapping into your 401k or IRA. You need six to twelve months of basic living expenses in a liquid account. Cut down on discretionary expenses (lunches and dinners out, subscriptions, etc.) and delay new purchases (new tablet, TV, etc.). There are few things worse than having to stay in a toxic situation because you can’t afford to leave. (Note that many people use this as an excuse to avoid dealing with tough issues, even though they could make it work.) By going lean, you will give yourself options (and probably feel better by simplifying your life).
2. Search Smartly.
Look around for organizations that fit your skills, passions, and values, that exemplify the triple crown quest (to become excellent, ethical, and enduring). They are top performers and have a sterling reputation and ethical culture. They treat people with respect and unleash leaders. Take a look at reputable lists and rankings such as the World’s Most Admired Companies, World’s Most Ethical Companies, Global 100 Most Sustainable Corporations, Charity Navigator, and more. (See our article, “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For.”)
Discretely explore these organizations. Meet with current and former employees. Read their blogs, newsletters, and financial or annual reports. Visit their facilities to get a feel for the place and what it’s like to work there.
3. Be a Role Model.
Employ the five practices of triple crown leadership–the advanced leadership practices that help you build an excellent, ethical, and enduring organization (See below.). Your department will start to soar and may become a talent magnet for other high performers. Perhaps you can influence people through your example.
The Five Practices of Triple Crown Leadership:
- Head & Heart: Recruit for, develop, and reward character, emotional intelligence, courage, passion, etc. (heart) as well as knowledge and skills (head).
- The Colors: Collaboratively set an inspiring shared purpose, values, and vision and then bring them to life in the organization.
- Steel & Velvet: Get beyond your natural leadership style, flexing between the hard and soft edges of leadership, depending on the people and situation.
- Stewards: Unleash people to act and lead by the shared values, encouraging them to step outside their functional roles, take initiative, and steward the culture.
- Alignment: Collaboratively align the organization up, down, and around to achieve peak performance.
4. Gain Allies.
Meet often with like-minded leaders to share ideas and support each other. Seek out a trustworthy mentor in another area of the organization: someone with considerably more influence and experience. This person may be able to offer perspective, insights, or even new opportunities.
5. Engage the Boss.
After doing the previous steps, tactfully approach the boss and raise key issues. Think it through from his (or her) point of view. What pressures is he facing? What drives his behavior? Look for ways to identify root causes of problems and help get things off his plate. Become a trusted ally. Your boss may not know any other way to lead and may need subtle guidance or tactful help that doesn’t threaten his ego or standing.
Leadership Derailers Assessment
Take this assessment to identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness. It will help you develop self-awareness and identify ways to improve your leadership.
6. Jump the Ladder.
If the steps above have not worked, you may need to jump the chain of command to go to HR or someone at a higher level. By tactfully raising issues, you can help the organization improve. Perhaps your boss needs training, a coach or mentor, a warning, or a pink slip? This action takes courage—and has risks—but could you leave in good conscience before trying to rectify the situation?
7. Get Out.
If the steps above do not work, and if the boss is hopeless and truly toxic, then leave. As Benjamin Franklin said, “If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.”
Tools for You
- Leadership Derailers Assessment to help you identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness
- Personal Values Exercise to help you determine and clarify what’s most important to you
- Alignment Scorecard to help you assess your organization’s level of alignment
Personal Values Exercise
Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.
Related Articles
- “Taking Casualties: No Jerks Allowed“
- “‘Take This Job and Shove It?’ Not So Fast“
- “No Jerks Allowed“
- “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For“
Triple Crown Leadership Newsletter
Join our community. Sign up now and get our monthly inspirations (new articles, announcements, opportunities, resources, and more). Welcome!
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Gregg Vanourek and Bob Vanourek are leadership practitioners, teachers, and award-winning authors (and son and father). They are co-authors of Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations, a winner of the International Book Awards. Check out their Leadership Derailers Assessment or get their monthly newsletter. If you found value in this, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!
